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How To Prep Your Metal Building For the Zombie Apocalypse

A zombie takeover is inevitable, right? And it only makes sense that, if and when the zombie apocalypse does happen, it would take place during the creepiest time of year. So, we’ve got Halloween marked on our calendars as the due date for getting our zombie prep work done on all our metal building(s). Grab your checklist because you have a lot of work to do.

Step one: If it’s hurricane proof, it’s probably zombie-proof.

If you’ve ever seen a single zombie movie in your entire life, then you know that they love to break through windows and doors. Seriously, what is the deal with that? During the zombie apocalypse, you’re going to want tempered-glass windows that are rated for hurricane zones. If you’re working with a prefabricated metal building, you’re already one step ahead. The roof and siding were built and installed to withstand hurricane-force winds. You won’t catch a zombie tearing through those materials any time soon.

Step two: Take pest control to the next level.

If termites, mice, or carpenter ants have been gnawing away at the organic materials in your building, then you’re looking at the perfect weak spot for a zombie to just come busting through. Do a thorough inspection of your building to identify any pest control issues you may have, and get those repairs done fast. Thankfully, steel buildings won’t have to worry about such matters. No pest is strong enough to snack on steel. Not even the jaws of the undead can chew through a steel beam. It’s just science.

Step three: Get ready to hunker down for a while.

Once the exterior of your building is reinforced and ready for zombies, you’ll want to make sure you’re good and comfortable inside. A well-insulated house will keep you warm and cozy, even when cold, undead hands threaten to deregulate your temperatures.

The idea is to survive the zombie apocalypse, at least for as long as possible. So, let’s assume that these cold undead bodies are going to pile up against your siding for a while. While you’re cozied up inside, that temperature difference could be causing a hell of a condensation problem in your walls. Insulated metal panels eliminate that cold-to-hot steel contact that causes moisture problems. After all, it’ll probably be a while before you can get a repairman out there for such problems. Someone has more than likely already eaten his brains.


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